Journal
Sunday, October 30, 2005 >2300
yet another dae has passed.. time jux run pass us w/o leaving a trace.. Jeps a fine looking guy, with a brown looking cape stained wif coffee on him and a pair of dark leather boots. He standing on a land of his own, a land where bring back many memories of himself, his past-glorious moments.. heart-wrenching moments.. death moments.. he standing there alone.. suffering solitudeness, living in a dream of his own. having just an empty shell where large gales of wind blowing towards his face, leaves rustling through the air and causing him unable to open his eyes... jux a slight cough, depriving him off more than half of his energy.. looking at the mess in front of him, flashbacks came back running thru his brain.. he thot of the past, everything he has done, but has lead to totally undesirable results. Walking through the dark alley now, all he could hear was the wind and his footsteps. echos of his footsteps replied him as though asking him to stop. but he just could not stop himself, bringing himself to a land of despair... Loneliness, Sadness, Love rang through the dark litted room where candles flicker by the seconds.. Jeps dragged his feet.. trying to face the reality.. with all his determination he could gather within him.. but finally, he collapsed onto the greyish stone floor with some religious carvings on it.
Saturday, October 29, 2005 >2301 note:(this post is not referring to any1) another day has passed once again.. got my report book ytdd n didnt do well.. sigh~ but anyway.. its history. nth much to cpmplain about anymore.. n dont realli hv the mood to type off.. cux.. life can jux be simply described by 2 word, "repeating itself". everydae jux happens in a routine, expecting what will happen the next day, nth significant enough to deserve a place in our memories. as people always says, joys last for a moment, tormented times lasts a lifetime. it is vry true and we r suppose to learn the joyous moments we have, but always, we tend to neglect and take things for granted. never learning from mistakes. comon, look back at ur own footsteps and think carefully, is this what u realli want?
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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 >2100- today is basically a damn boring day.. total waste of my money.. since time=money rite? lols. morning.. had an english test.. which is of total crap, and rotted away till a HIV talk by standard chartered.. what does a bank hafta do wif HIV? though they said that it is their so called CIP.. but.. kinda weird rite? dan there isnt much significant stuff to mention.. o ya.. there is oso a.. somekind of selling in the hall too... btw.. thx honz, my fellow crew member! ahahahx=P and i came upon this page todae too... 101 survival tips to a heartbreak. the last page. tip #98: and finally, try to forget about him/her. tip #99: if that fails, try harder. take up a hobby like gardening or stamp collecting or get a job if you dont already have one. occupy yourself. tip #100: if it fails again, give it one last shot. become a workaholic and overtake everyone in the company or migrate to another country, be it legally or illegally. tip #101: if all else fails and nothing works, lie through your teeth and say that you want to start anew. say you dont miss him/her. say you dont want to be with him/her. lie, cheat, and deceive yourself for your entire miserable life you weakling. and if you have to follow through till this final tip and still not get over your heartbreak, you're really hopeless you useless piece of junk. the end. ----adapted from www.blankwithoutyou.blogspot.com----
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 >1058-
sometimes i wonder, wad r we doing all dis for? all this studying, scheming, all the affairs of the heart, or mayb dead knots of feelings.. y do we fight for such material needs.. or mayb.. psychological needs.. using underhand methods to attain such a "common" motive.. n in the end, turning over faces. y do we use so much time and effort on meaningless stuffs when everything comes to an end.. just a circle of events which definately happens in a matter of time- life and death. and all materialistic plotting is just transient which eventually boils down to- greed. i do wonder our society is even worse than olden daes traid members where loyalty is being carved into their brains. relationships between ppl is definately of utmost impt.. after yanking ard for so long.. i tink i shld stop here ya? lols.. sigh.. currently exams over.. but its like no much difference from the time of just started school.. forget about holidays, forget about relaxing, just concentrate on something- books.
hmm.. n btw.. theres 3 new songs below.. all by T.A.T.U.. i prefer the song all about us so i put it as auto play.. the other 2 r gd as well.. n the song- all the things she said have another version as well.. like another language and the title is Ya Soshla S Uma.. ermmx.. dun tink many ppl noe bout t.a.t.u cux it might be due to singapore restriction and deem dem as politically incorrect? nt too sure either.. but anyway.. enjoy!
Thursday, October 13, 2005 >woot.. finally exams is over... hmm.. not much comments for dis exams.. but the phy paper was definately a challenging n difficult one.. its an unsurmountable task to get an A.. but to me.. a B is almost vry diff.. cux most probably i wld fail.. lols.. >.< hmm.. n for the past wks hv been mugging all dae onli.. nth else.. n now.. after exams.. though happi.. but lost in a wild piece of land.. hmm.. anyway.. will try n update soon.. hope tt my comp wld b repaired as early as possible..
hmm.. i hv added an MTV below.. take a look.. theres oso one on my friendster! heh
Saturday, October 01, 2005 >hmm.. hvn been bloggin for some time.. cux too busy n my comp is down(u shld noe by now).. nth much to comment on cept that now the exams are coming and i jux had my english paper.. like.. few daes ago? cant recall when was it.. isnt it nice to be able to forget things as quickly as a few daes like now.. but.. there are many things which are unforgettable in life.. like.. a scar will always leave a scar there.. no matter what..(excluding plastic surgery which might even leave more scars) will nv ever be able to make the scar disappear.. dis is oso like a broken glass cup.. no matter how much effort u spend to glue it back or whatever, the damage is done.. n it wld b forever there ok.. i guess i hv nth much to sae.. but smth is that.. ytd is one of the happiest dae of my life! i mean it=). life is jux an empty shell without soul.. n the soul is lost.. in a unknown place.. filled wif a feeling that could destroy anithg on earth.. and i wish all children a happi childrens dae! hahah ok~ tatax~ -a happi person-=D
Voices
Quotes
"if someone loves you,
love them back not only because they love you,
but also because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes
to things you have never seen or felt without them."
(ripped from solasura-honz)
As you envelope my mind,
thoughts are all about you.
I hope that you could walk into the ghost of me.
My heart have been delievered to your doorstep, do you accept this mail?
Could you pull out some time for me
and give both of us a chance to be together.
Waiting isn't a problem,
losing you would be the biggest trauma I would get.
May this day where our hearts bond together come soon.
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal.
A recollection of poetry
"Twilight funeral"
Blackened and cold is the dusk
A veil where the shadows watch
Behind the dim requiems of light
When blindness envelopes our eyes
Silent and unholy is the dusk
A hole where the demons smirk
Beyond the clutters of human life
When deafness embraces our ears
Sable nothingness is the dusk
A shroud where the ravens flock
Tainting the purity of white clouds
When darkness devours our hearts
Inevitable death is the dusk
A cloak where the daggers hide
Under the facade of tranquility
When mortality is but a quip
- Solasura
"Muted Joy"
Words appearing before aquamarine eyes,
Inner warmth awakened.
Coldened heart was melted,
returning to its liquidfied state.
Hopes of rain fallen,
sheltered by feelings.
Flooded everywhere,
but not a single drop here.
Tune rings by the ears,
Emotions being mixed up.
Weak and deplorable,
Just takes the shape of you.
Ensnared by you,
Unintentionally or intentionally,
unable to be freed,
till Reaper's Scythe appears.
Which will appear first, rain or scythe?
"Solitude"
Time flies when words strung out,
numbing the bitter nerve.
Defrostation took place,
Everything seem to be in summer,
From the frosted white fingers,
darkness in the heart,
you brought warmth and light.
Turning upon an unretaliatable liquid.
Just as words strung out once again,
froze all happiness in me.
Bitterness awakened,
Negligible autumn, forver winterness.
Eclipse seems to take place forever.
Light and warmth never took place,
Darkness and chill,
mutated the mind into an unfeeling solid.
When solitude occurs, does anyone bothers?
- Takizawa
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