Journal
Friday, October 31, 2008 >3As to lvl 4 ropes + lvl 2 plants. im trying... will try my best and squeeze out as much as i can..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- S's. stress. scared. strong. success.
Monday, October 27, 2008 >I'm holding on your rope, Got me ten feet off the ground And I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound You tell me that you need me Then you go and cut me down, but wait You tell me that you're sorry Didn't think I'd turn around, and say... That it's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late I'd take another chance, take a fall Take a shot for you And I need you like a heart needs a beat But it's nothing new - yeah yeah I loved you with the fire red- Now it's turning blue, and you say... "Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you But I'm afraid... That it's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late I t's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, yeah- I said it's too late to apologize, yeah- I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off...
will apologies be ever too late?
Sunday, October 26, 2008 >it has been a hectic week.. so this shall be short, real short.
2things. 8th level of abraham maslow hierarchy of needs: self transcedence.. connect to something, help others find self-fulfillment.. indeed. a level above your 7th one.(or 5th if you want to remove the other 2)
enlistment on 13th of april, monday!. good or bad? i will take it positively=)
Friday, October 17, 2008 >farewell today
it was quite short and sweet. enjoyed the time i had today and it seemed abit like the training times that we had in the past, doing things as a batch.. just that we no need to clean up after that. haha.though we had this farewell, it will still not be over! dont anymore come but odac odac, going all the way! first we had this knowledge thingy that i think all cheated. haha. den we had frisbee! the j1s are quite good and have improved alot since they last played. den it was eating time there i was super full and the food was quite nice, good job! the little things that we received are the sunflower, towel, cup, a drawn picture and thread.. thank you j-ones. you guys are great.
Thursday, October 16, 2008 >heard the song wind beneath my wings today.. reminded me of the times when i heard it few months ago... during the little talk for the xcountry people.
reminded me of the times in competition where people cheer for you, during level run and people scream their lungs out and the napfa king or whatever you call it, i wont be there without all of you. pull up from 0 and slogged it out with the other 2 fellow h1 last yr, xiang fei and jia yi where we PAP(pull and pull) yea.
thank you. to both odac and t14.
wonder if tomorrow's farewell will be on...
wind beneath my wings
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 >so farewell is on friday.. hope it will be good n the mood will be there. but.. it gives me the feeling that they are having the farewell just because they want to get it over and done with. hope im wrong.
i like this statement: my only joy is to see you smile...
Tuesday, October 14, 2008 >read the notice to the j-ones dis 2 days, hope they understand what shit are they in and the effort put in to make them wake up, because it is really jialat. your performence in other cca may be the best, but in odac, it is not enough. who ask you to be in odac? sounds familiar? hehs. today met up with a fellow adjammer, very happy that we could still meet up even after a year! woohoo. this is what i think adjam is all about and not just 2days of fun and forget about each other after that.. or maybe, just lost touch after that. the purpose of the activity is to let schools interact and if all they do was just for that 2 days, i would rather there be no more adjam... no point, isnt it? My heart can't possibly break, When it wasn't even whole to start with... interesting sentence i heard from a song today.. any guesses?
Monday, October 13, 2008 >went to youtube for awhile and watched the chinese new year performence by us.. where it summed up many of our school moments... watch it again if you want=)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjRzDTjwrUE
Saturday, October 11, 2008 >to whole of CJC T14, year 2007/2008.
This 2 years have been wonderful with all of you and it will never be the same without you. I think it is very lucky for me to be able to be with all of you since first 3 months, and after that, most of us stayed together. Even with new people who joined our class for 2nd intake, we blended well together. Last year, we entered into this place with much uncertainty and we are all different. now that we have graduated, we leave this place together, as one; everybody being the same. Do not forget the times that we have been through together like drain walk where we care about our shoes, now we care about each other, pe where we go thru the tough 2.4 and pull ups, esp chris and lincoln. The times where we went through the sian lectures, tutorials and the stress of exams. Not only school matters but private matters as well where the new friends found stood by us, helped us along when we fall. Life is not only about studying and these friends that you made may be with you throughout the rest of your life. The world is so huge, and we were born in the same year, going to the same school and to the same class. This didn't come easy and it is lucky that we are able to be together. Remember the friends that you made, even if you don't talk much to each other, try to meet up as a group and don't put a fullstop to this friendship. Our CJC life may be over, but this is also a new stage of our friendship. Everything is in our hands to create.
T14, you are the best and enjoy the prom night and the class trip. Though i can't go with you people, but if your need any help with the trip or want someone to shop with for prom, dont hestitate to call me! dont worry about awkward or whatsoever, because spending time with the class is what i want.
once again, i love t14.
>today is grad day.. didnt got really emotional cept for one part till the end of the day... really the end of the day. shall leave that for later. everything started great, seeing everyone in class, enjoying themselves and having fun. today is one of the day that the class is more together. very very happy to see that and has been my wish and hope for the class. i know it is not easy for 25 ppl to be together but today, we sort of managed it well. making the plasticine was the first activity and i think its really a great idea. this helped the class to bond as one for the last time. after going to audi, it all started off with a montage that brought back memories but the mood don't really suit and it has been affected by some irritating people behind me who cant stop making rubbish comments. it all went on till the receiving of files and the pin, mrs labrooy, u rock and continue your passion for teaching. this 2 yrs with you as our home tutor is really great. there was also the bro paul address and for some weird reason... became napfa king. didnt expect it in the first place and like damn paiseh.>.< later, my random poem was also put into zaphyr or how u spell it, 2nd surprise! lastly, we won the BEST HOME CLASS AGAIN! i think that switched our focus and all of us was really happy.. and cam-whoring in class. till we headed off to anchor point to have lunch and haagen daz ice cream for "free", using the vouchers won from racial harmony day. i was happy because the whole class made the effort to go there and it is the first time we have 25 people, though it wasnt for long but it was still great. it was dinner after that with m.m.c. talked about many many things and asked them some reflective questions which i think is good to know so that you know better about yourself. and there were also random moments of us hiding in locker.. me being 1yrold, c being 7 and m being 3 i think. cant rmbr clearly. and many other small moments that i will not forget. then it was 20mins of quality time. real quality. that period where we have some moments of... thoughts and feelings. it is never the same again.. this friendship, that place. eternal flame, how do i live, im your angel, heaven knows, stand by me. i love you t14.
Thursday, October 09, 2008 >tomorrow is grad day.. feeling kind of nostalgic now. lata kinjiang feeling is coming back, definately. not berkelah. strong tears vs weak tears. to all tomorrow, just let be natural. if no tears, dont act that you cry and if really feel like crying, dont control. understand? esp to the one who to cries alone hor?=)
thank you t14 for everything, this 2 years have been great with you guys and i love all of your. though i won't be joining you people for prom/penang trip, wish you people all the best. have fun and be safe. and i will b bringing all of you guys up the 7peaks!(class photo). =))
can time just slow down.. and may tomorrow never comes.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008 >on the journey back, something just struck me. whats the difference between like and love to most people? i think most take it the same and uses it interchangably. this is just like comparing earth and neptune. they are same(both planets), but worlds apart.
love is something that's more deep and it is not easy to forgo, unlike like. we can like something and stop liking it after sometime(doesn't mean that you don't like). but when we love, can u actually let go of your love easily? if you can, there could be a few possibilities. 1) you thought u loved. 2) self denial, you thought you let go. 3) letting go is your forte.
Monday, October 06, 2008 >alright. this will be a short one, do not have much time.
gonna visit 7peaks- 5 mountains and 1 volcano.
1st: 玉山(南投) 3952m 2nd: 向陽山(台东-花莲) 3603m 3rd: 三叉山(near 2nd) 3496m 4th: 雪山(云南-丽江)3886m 5th: 南湖大山(4th highest, ard 花蓮 area) 3740m 6th: 七星山(tallest volcano in taiwan) 1120m
五岳: 玉山、雪山、秀姑峦山、北大武山, 南湖大山
Saturday, October 04, 2008 >after seeing so many j-ones about their maths.. i decided to make up some predictions. dont say im bad or whatsoever ar..
Edmund: D* Jin shi: D* Javis: D Sarah: S* Alvin: S Maurice: D/E Michelle: D* John: D*
*= may be a grade higher if they work hard.
Friday, October 03, 2008 >i dont know why but today just feels with lots of ups and downs i think. so much so that its difficult to feel happy or sad. totally confused... shant say too much about downs but i will just say that: 1) treasure what you have now before regretting later... 2) you fall, you cry, you stand up again and continue writing your chapter.
ups now! after not running for godknowshowlong, today did a lvl0 15rnds 22.14! was very happy that i managed to do it because i thought i can't in the first place. ytd night, it was 7rnds actl.. dan when hongtaa dropped out and i still feel ok, i continued on. running every single round for each of you. thanks prashan,marcus,ht, j-ones(too many to list alr) and all those who cheered but i don't know who you are. maurice, congrats for being first jone clearing lvl 0 30rnds! ahead by 20+ or 30+ secs. gd job.
today there was also this new notice.. ending with this. in life, there are many things that catch your eyes, but few that catch your heart. pursue those!
lastly, i end with this few things discipline, desire, determination, dream(i think) persevere, persistance, patience, passion commmittment, confidence, composure,challenge. sometimes what others think of you is just as important as who you really are. never lose sight of big picture as you are colouring your small picture
find your voice and inspire others to find theirs. found n failed.
wherever you go, whatever you do, i will be right here waiting for you.
Voices
Quotes
"if someone loves you,
love them back not only because they love you,
but also because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes
to things you have never seen or felt without them."
(ripped from solasura-honz)
As you envelope my mind,
thoughts are all about you.
I hope that you could walk into the ghost of me.
My heart have been delievered to your doorstep, do you accept this mail?
Could you pull out some time for me
and give both of us a chance to be together.
Waiting isn't a problem,
losing you would be the biggest trauma I would get.
May this day where our hearts bond together come soon.
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal.
A recollection of poetry
"Twilight funeral"
Blackened and cold is the dusk
A veil where the shadows watch
Behind the dim requiems of light
When blindness envelopes our eyes
Silent and unholy is the dusk
A hole where the demons smirk
Beyond the clutters of human life
When deafness embraces our ears
Sable nothingness is the dusk
A shroud where the ravens flock
Tainting the purity of white clouds
When darkness devours our hearts
Inevitable death is the dusk
A cloak where the daggers hide
Under the facade of tranquility
When mortality is but a quip
- Solasura
"Muted Joy"
Words appearing before aquamarine eyes,
Inner warmth awakened.
Coldened heart was melted,
returning to its liquidfied state.
Hopes of rain fallen,
sheltered by feelings.
Flooded everywhere,
but not a single drop here.
Tune rings by the ears,
Emotions being mixed up.
Weak and deplorable,
Just takes the shape of you.
Ensnared by you,
Unintentionally or intentionally,
unable to be freed,
till Reaper's Scythe appears.
Which will appear first, rain or scythe?
"Solitude"
Time flies when words strung out,
numbing the bitter nerve.
Defrostation took place,
Everything seem to be in summer,
From the frosted white fingers,
darkness in the heart,
you brought warmth and light.
Turning upon an unretaliatable liquid.
Just as words strung out once again,
froze all happiness in me.
Bitterness awakened,
Negligible autumn, forver winterness.
Eclipse seems to take place forever.
Light and warmth never took place,
Darkness and chill,
mutated the mind into an unfeeling solid.
When solitude occurs, does anyone bothers?
- Takizawa
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