Journal
Friday, January 29, 2010 >
Sunday, January 24, 2010 >Thinking about the times that passed...
I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover. I love you forever, forever is over. We used to kiss all night, now it's just a bar fight. So don't call me crying, say hello then goodbye. What hurts the most...was being so close and having so much to say, and watching you walk away...
Going through the times now...
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
>as usual.. last wk was all back in camp and nth much. basically the usual arrows flying around, g50 forms and well.. a shitload of paper to shread which i think i will take a week to do so. :/ den came TGIF! woot. i always love friday. :D
went back cj saw mr lim.. and the current j2s. though they did grow a little.. but i still dont think the level of maturity is there and their batch is very much segregated. the leader is good but not strong enough and lack of support from their base... probably due to poor foundation. but wells, hope they would have a common aim- to be a good good j2s to their j1 and let b13 be a better batch, a turning point... did a 2.4km with them too! quite amazing that i can still do 9.20 and even more amazingly, it won a couple of them. hmms. happy but sad too. as usual, tp circle dinner and chit chat! =D
saturday nvm training with the team.. 1 set warm up, 1 set time trial.. freakkinnn shagged=( and a nt vry gd timing for competition but still ok for now. 4.44. a bad omen? dinner later.. matchsticks fun and i had a very happy night, a type of happiness that touched your heart. =)
winning or losing isn't important, what matters is that everybody stays together. when you love someone, you will not make her worry for you.
Sunday, January 17, 2010 >last nite was at tp dinner at the holy circle again! =) a nice talk talk and im really glad for that session. and tt did encourage me to go and settle the problem once and for all. thanks guys and girls:) had supper after that and chatted till we forgot about the time. it was 12 alr and we thought its 10! its one of my happiest night after many months and.. i know what i really want.
the dreamt tt i had after tt just confirmed what i just say too.. even if its a nitemare, it taught me smth.
time for a new week of rubbish at hr again... zz. and im looking forward to go to sentosa tml aft work! hehe
Saturday, January 16, 2010 >2 beautiful shows that recently i've watched, "A walk to remember" and "the lovely bones". both very touching stories..
A walk to remember is a touching love story with other factors like fatherly love etc. how much love can change a person and the beautiful side of it. Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense & is not resentful.
The lovely bones indeed shows that love triumph hatred and how the 14yr old girl looks over her family even after she's dead.. is this what will happen when we're dead? are we still able to look over the people we love? and what we feel will affect those living? Even though we may be gone, or gone forever, we hope that our once presence made happy memories. When we have left, we hope things move on and become better. Everything comes at a cost and things come at a price. We need to see ourselves as not part of it anymore to let go of it.
Sunday, January 03, 2010 >the first post of 2010
ended 2009 at my house with t14peeps coming over.. hope they enjoyed and it wasnt as loud/noisy as last year. does time really makes people weary of each other and the relationship just gets diluted with time? what will the 2010 be for this little class of ours?
and first day of 2010 was at ht house! had a great talk, movie session and some games! it's just great to be able to talk to the batch and see all of em again! and well, lets see what goes in 2010 for us! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ i wanted this year to come so badly, maybe because a new year means a new beginning? even if life just goes on as per normal, you still do the same thing, i guess we have to lie to ourselves at time to make us feel better. to give us hope that life will have a turn for the better. though bad it may be, the last year taught me many things that i never knew, or rather, it made me realize even further that a 1st person and 3rd person point of view is so different. you will find that you do so many "wrong things" when you're in it and only to realise it when it's too late or when it's over.
maybe 2009 was a lesson year and to prepare me for 2010. dont expect too much because the higher you hope, the harder you fall. 2010, im prepared for you.
i guess its time to stop hanging halfway and drop from the bungee rope. because i know you wont be there to pull me up.
Voices
Quotes
"if someone loves you,
love them back not only because they love you,
but also because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes
to things you have never seen or felt without them."
(ripped from solasura-honz)
As you envelope my mind,
thoughts are all about you.
I hope that you could walk into the ghost of me.
My heart have been delievered to your doorstep, do you accept this mail?
Could you pull out some time for me
and give both of us a chance to be together.
Waiting isn't a problem,
losing you would be the biggest trauma I would get.
May this day where our hearts bond together come soon.
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal.
A recollection of poetry
"Twilight funeral"
Blackened and cold is the dusk
A veil where the shadows watch
Behind the dim requiems of light
When blindness envelopes our eyes
Silent and unholy is the dusk
A hole where the demons smirk
Beyond the clutters of human life
When deafness embraces our ears
Sable nothingness is the dusk
A shroud where the ravens flock
Tainting the purity of white clouds
When darkness devours our hearts
Inevitable death is the dusk
A cloak where the daggers hide
Under the facade of tranquility
When mortality is but a quip
- Solasura
"Muted Joy"
Words appearing before aquamarine eyes,
Inner warmth awakened.
Coldened heart was melted,
returning to its liquidfied state.
Hopes of rain fallen,
sheltered by feelings.
Flooded everywhere,
but not a single drop here.
Tune rings by the ears,
Emotions being mixed up.
Weak and deplorable,
Just takes the shape of you.
Ensnared by you,
Unintentionally or intentionally,
unable to be freed,
till Reaper's Scythe appears.
Which will appear first, rain or scythe?
"Solitude"
Time flies when words strung out,
numbing the bitter nerve.
Defrostation took place,
Everything seem to be in summer,
From the frosted white fingers,
darkness in the heart,
you brought warmth and light.
Turning upon an unretaliatable liquid.
Just as words strung out once again,
froze all happiness in me.
Bitterness awakened,
Negligible autumn, forver winterness.
Eclipse seems to take place forever.
Light and warmth never took place,
Darkness and chill,
mutated the mind into an unfeeling solid.
When solitude occurs, does anyone bothers?
- Takizawa
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