teachers day today! the celebrations in school was not bad, good effort! and abit sad for the gymnasts, tink dey r paiseh also but no choice, still have to smile. and the j-ones did something nice for mr lim too, i think it was very good of them and that showed some initiative which was seriously lacking..
then, back to qss with phil,ern and toon. met seng yang, chunkit,eunice and alex there too. it was nice to be back there again, the memories came back of what we always do, the laughters.. etc. kind of mixed feelings when i got back. many people didnt go back, and most who are there, are actually more of people in the normal stream. i can use my fingers and toes to count the number of express ppl who went there. are thses people too smart for their own good? some may have exams,jobs or other reasons, that, i understand. but how many actually fall into that catagory? human nature.. selective memory. dont think that im blaming, im not, just disappointed in homosapiens; able to think and forget.
anyways, it was great to see the teachers still doing fine and mr low had lunch with us! woohoo. he as usual, the funny old man and say how some students don't listen to instructions for practical and anyhow add the solutions. hehs. furthermore, QSS is having a indoor sports complex! omg. suddenly large influx of money in qss... >.<
I think the teachers was happy to see their old students back, the type of unexplainable feeling that you get. and when i got back there, some of my past juniors still recognised me when i didnt recognise them! it was quite nice to see them pursuing their dreams and matured since i saw them. and u can still feel the type of feeling of being treated like a senior. its just a nice feeling, guess tts the same as what the teachers feel when they see us..
when chunkit told me bout something td, i forgot to tell him this. in life, we can't please everybody so sometimes, people may not like you. just do what you think is right and dont harm others. have your own way of life and not living in the shadows of others..
today, thought bout something during a ride. guess exams makes my thoughts go wild. was wondering if this world, everybody is able to love their friends just like how they love their partners, and then bring the love to their partners to another higher level, won't that make earth an even better place?
if everyone cared, nobody cried, if everyone loved and nobody lied, if everyone shared and swallowed their pride, we see the day where nobody died.
woohooo! today finally finished maths, think it was still managable but made a few careless mistakes here and there. argh. finally, there is a glimpse of hope for an A. the first one in my JC life. Of course, provided that P1 wont be too bad. pure maths, here i come! RARRR.
played frisbee today, from like 12-5. with ard 1hour break in between though. getting unfit now, got tired quite fast and cant throw properly. >.< tomorrow is teacher's day, won't be expecting much old faces there. well, human nature, understandable=). and prelims period too.
Yesterday, physics was badbadbad. difficult, or rahter, very different type of questions. and fell sick during that morning too. A bad flu and at night, had fever. Think I lost focus becus thought of relaxing abit the day before. argh. slept early, and told myself that i can't get sick. weee. today was all fresh and woke up at 4am to study!!!=DD. so i did like 6hrs of maths. =/. after that, brain exhausted. =(
well, and yesterday the 4 stages in a relationship with nature. !st: Nature.. 2nd: WAH. WAH. and more WAH that nature is beautiful. 3rd: nature is quite ugly 4th: nature is actually still beautiful.
but i think before this, you must first befriend nature and make it your friend.
do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know that the lock to the door has changed.
today had physics.. it was difficult!! argh. and kar jun was right, the setters are damn lazy.. they just kope a question from last yr other schs prelim for data analysis. fortunately i did it but still.. forgot a part of it. sigh. shld haf gotten full mark for it.. =( anyways, everyone don't be sad! theres still p1 and p3.
tomorrow is maths, last paper of the week. finally can have a little break. but yet... had dis mentality ytd, and today i fell sick. having a bad flu now!! argh. lost focus.. =(
hope maths will be fine.. have to go and prepare now! =)
suppose to put this too but it slipped my mind, anyways.
in life, forever is a difficult statement to make and should always think whether it can happen. because, forever means forever.. just like teacher's day coming and i wonder how many people will actually think of going back to their secondary school. a place where they spent for 4 years and it is this place where most makes their best friends. but yet, people are often busy with other stuff(dun misunderstand, not blaming) just wondering about human nature, yes, again. this shows how forgetful humans are, or, we choose to forget?
the same go for relationships. the cases of people falling in and out of love easily are uncountable. cant imagine how they manage their life(not putting them in a bad light) and im just joking, but joking seriously. because to me, it isn't true love anymore. and how true is actually true.. no one knows. love, so simple yet made complex by people.
whats important is you just have to be at your truest, no need to be the truest.
finally gp is over. fortunately, i read about the article on censorship ytd and managed to do it today, hope it will turn out well. but comprehension was terrible. what pancake man nonsense, managed to understand abit but not totally. sigh. and the aq is like a total contradiction to what i said in my essay and i am like wtf while writing. well, hope for the best bah.. heard sa about some immortality and is nonsense too. why are gp teachers all so nonsensical?!
after exam, tried to study but as usual, post exam sickness.. the thing that kept me going was just a few simple messages that i get along the way. treasure every moment of it.
tomorrow is chemistry. don't know how will it be and really stress cause i feel so unprepared and do not have confidence at all. even after practising a number of other school papers.. and i still need a C for ropes. sigh.. all i can say is, good luck.
wo zhao yi xi guan ni de mi ren xiang shui wei...(i have gotten use to your mesmerizing perfume) ni jiu xiang na xiang shui wei, jian jian de xiao shi..(Just like the perfume, you disappear slowly..)
today is the day where all ends, olympics. all the medals hardwork the many have trained over many years have paid off, for some, accidents happened and they can't be at their best, world records broken, 8 gold medals by phelps, legendary bolt..etc etc.
Sometimes, the best may not be the best but what's important is that you have tried your best.
tomorrow is the day of the start of prelims. First paper, GP. one of my weakest subject, i seriosly hope that i can improve and do better than last time. lets just see how.. it will all be over soon, this olympic of cj.
The closing ceremony of beijing was beautiful and magnificent. my cj journey one will not end in glamour, but a sad note. graduation day where all tears will flow, just like lata kinjiang. strong tears. Hope my cj odac journey will end beautifully with the farewell but i know, i will not let go.. just like...
decided to sleep later today so as to rest more, but damn.. think i lost focus. got the sick feeling coming.. comon filoss! u cant afford to get sick now. this is why today is not productive, only managed 2 chem paper 2 till now.. sigh. very low productivity. this is also why i didnt go out today to study.
feel like giving up now but i know i can't.. "..with our mental strength, strive on till the end!"
all you people out there, take care of yourself yea. everything will be over soon, i hope.
today, j-ones went to sungei buloh + kranji war memorial. hope they learned more and be able to appreciate what we have today and how lucky they are. becus, they are really very very lucky.
now watching the artistic gym. it is really beautiful but guess the judges are screwed up. some points are so unfair and can see the gymnast are realy enjoying. Think the judges are quite biased against the russian Anna Besonova. her performence are beautiful, but just don't seem to get over the 18marker till the club. this type of judging sux as we don't know how it is graded.
prelims, aim for all H2 Cs to get ropes lvl 3!! and it is getting further away from me. I seriously want some time for myself and escape from this studying.. sigh. just changed the song, better man. hope everything can be better, the world, the environment, cj odac,cj odac batch X, j-ones, and myself... this just came to my mind suddenly, love is not a dead thing you can take.
study day today! which means no lesson! woohoo. =D. i just love this. if only you give me one more of this week, i will definately do much better for prelims but well, shan't complain and channel the energy to studying! have been staying back for night study this whole week, basically the fact to escape from the television that just keep say"watch me". maybe the school is a good avenue for me to escape to. just like why i am suddenly blogging so much now. maybe maybe..
Because of lightning warning, the j-ones do not have 2.4 run. was hoping to see their 2.4 run today. as for why.. i will say got free show, so why not? Ran this morning too, with marcus and boey who took bus stop to school and switched to lazy later on.. hehe. anyways, the run brought back many many memories, how we talked cock while running. and today was the same, just that jacking boey all along the way. =x. and i realised im quite unfit now too, nid to runrun on nx coming fri morn!(tchers day). and the letter has yet to be done.. argh.
today was suppose to do 13 hours, and so far, i have done around 10hours. doubt can hit the target but anyways, think its still not bad. considering the fact that i hvnt been slping enough the past few days. tomorrow shall be the day that i recharge and let my biological alarm wake me! =DD
stepping one more day towards prelim. no idea how will i fare but seriously hope it can go well.. not only because i just had another lvl 3 ropes deal with boss, and maybe the book too. but not to make boss sad again cus tink he abit sad that our mid years are bad. and it is for the j-ones too, hope they can go for june xp next year when they are jc2s. and lastly, for myself. so many responsibility to hold.. hope i can fulfill em.
target: at least C for 3 H2 sub. tomorrow study day, finally no lesson. shall try a record breaking 13hours tml... wee... Gan qing de xi, wo mei yan ji... In love, i do not act.. but it is just so much more beautiful in chinese.
wondering what is happening to me recently.. where do i get all the energy from even i had so little sleep. this is simply abnormal that i don't think my body is mine anymore. the only time that i feel tired is when i hit the bed at home. but today, im going to break that curse! shall employ red bull to help me! give me wings to escape from that abyss.
had blood donation today too, was the last 2 wif man and koped all the food=x. n the ppl today seems to be less experienced than the last time!! argh. first time i have a little bruise at my middle finger becus of the prick.. and though td is my 3rd time donating.. its the first time i see that big needle inserted into my skin. wow. looked in amazement that my skin could stretch that much. =/. today is also the first time i felt abit of pain during the poking of needle.. all this shows how much lousier they r compared to the past! maybe they are newbies... becus i see no confidence in their eyes and they seem so dead doing their job! how can something that give life be so dead. irony.
tomorrow is the payment for the deposit of grad night, sorry t14 that i'm not going. tts why im now trying to spend as much time with the class as possible.. will never forget you guys. t14 rock on!
From honz blog: im a mediator... settle issues between people...(sounds familiar to me) i will add, and let all misgivings be directed to me; makes the world a better place.
Ni shi wo de yan, dai wo ping lue si ji de bian hua.... You are my pair of eyes, bringing me through the changes of the four seasons...
after that moment that i thought i was angry, it came to me that i felt disappointed that anger. not disappointed in them, but myself.
it shows that i was unable to make them realise that in life, we can cross the first line, but never the 2nd...
today studying was rather a success n in a fun mood cus of the j2 yan ru! n not only that, but his changing mathods. hehs. =x this j1 batch just got so many lookalikes.. haha.
today also checked with big boss that can join in for nov xp+snow mountain.. no nov xp and snow mountain(if have) will be on first week of december. good bye prom... sry class. i will not cut my finger n say cannot to(maybe only marcus gets it). the only obstacle is the money... $2500. borrow borrow borrow i guess.
endure and enjoy. hope i can enjoy. =/ jiayouuuu. back to mugging...
after today, reminds me of the 4 pillars of a relationship that i have once talked about during the cemetary run for the j-ones.
love: the greatest of them all. trust: hardest to build, easiest to break. communitcation: quality isn't proportional to quantity. respect: the most important of all but often neglected.
without any of this, your relationship will collapse. be it family or friends.
lincoln finally got his silver today, 12.27 for 2.4km. extremely happy for him. n if i hlp u, i do not nid you to thank me bcus by passing, that is the best thing u can give me!
last week, saw the j-1s pitched the tent which is total rubbish and it seemed that the tent was being raped with the way they put the tent frame and there was once last time where they did not pegged the flysheet and it flew away.. omg. COMMON SENSE PLEASE! they arent taking the tent pitching seriously and this can actually be a chance for them to practise while doing their solitary confinement.. but well, they do not realise that i believe. wonder how will their nov xp go if this carries on, maybe a 5-day xp? no one noes cept the big boss or rather, god.
n ytd, a 2nd person knew about something.. wonder why did i actually do that. trust maybe. and trust is the most difficult to build and the easiest to break.
woot. singapore had their silver, kinda expected that they can't get the gold. china is like the table tennis king can. in this case, queen.
didnt want to go my grandma hse at first becus wanna study but in the end was forced to go.. in life, we are often not in control of our life, arent we? so many factors that caused our life to be in topsy turvy, not the way that we would have hoped or dream.
now, 1 more week to prelims and i still feel not prepared and not confident at all. schools having test almost everyday since last week and cant proceed with revision properly. GIVE ME MY LIFE!!. argh.
lincoln will be going for his 8th try on 2.4 if i didnt remembered wrongly again.. hope he will pass!!!
one ironic thing that happens in most school now: people start to skip class, buy mc, fake parent letter so as not to come schools but years or maybe just a few months later, they will hope that they are still in school. so, treasure what u have now instead of complaining that you have to go to school. the time will come when you realise you have no time.
"if someone loves you,
love them back not only because they love you,
but also because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes
to things you have never seen or felt without them."
(ripped from solasura-honz)
As you envelope my mind,
thoughts are all about you.
I hope that you could walk into the ghost of me.
My heart have been delievered to your doorstep, do you accept this mail?
Could you pull out some time for me
and give both of us a chance to be together.
Waiting isn't a problem,
losing you would be the biggest trauma I would get.
May this day where our hearts bond together come soon.
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal.
A recollection of poetry
"Twilight funeral"
Blackened and cold is the dusk
A veil where the shadows watch
Behind the dim requiems of light
When blindness envelopes our eyes
Silent and unholy is the dusk
A hole where the demons smirk
Beyond the clutters of human life
When deafness embraces our ears
Sable nothingness is the dusk
A shroud where the ravens flock
Tainting the purity of white clouds
When darkness devours our hearts
Inevitable death is the dusk
A cloak where the daggers hide
Under the facade of tranquility
When mortality is but a quip
