Journal
Saturday, August 27, 2011
>im going to say goodbye to everything. and just broke down uncontrollably. tears just flowed.
goodbye doramon. goodbye.
i thought i have already forgotten totally, but yet, when i see everything,tears flowed.
i will never see you again and i never want to.
this shall be the last time im crying for you, because, ill never see, talk or think of you again.
This is the end of the book and i want to burn it away.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
>Obsessed, depressed at the same time; And I can't even walk a straight line. I've been lying in the dark; no sunshine, no sunshine, no sunshine.
This sentence very much speaks for how I feel.. that I feel like I'm losing myself much in the hustle & bustle of everyday school life. How much longer can it be hidden, the smile can it still be there. But yet deep inside, I feel so lost. I dont have a clear purpose, and with the injury bugging me.. I can't have my regular dosage of medication(runs) to bring me back or at least, give me some peacetime.
School is indeed tiring and I'm trying to be disciplined which is really tiring.. hope i can get use to it soon.
And this song can't come any better, totally describing how I feel. Been lying in the dark, and I don't think this is really me. But, I can't go round spreading negativity too.
Ill have to spiral out of this negativity. and i love you.
>I won't say that running is my passion because that level is too high. But at least, I can say I love running. Running for the people you love is the most beautiful journey, even if the circumstances may be of the most unfavourable.
I love you. 25 minutes.
Voices
Quotes
"if someone loves you,
love them back not only because they love you,
but also because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes
to things you have never seen or felt without them."
(ripped from solasura-honz)
As you envelope my mind,
thoughts are all about you.
I hope that you could walk into the ghost of me.
My heart have been delievered to your doorstep, do you accept this mail?
Could you pull out some time for me
and give both of us a chance to be together.
Waiting isn't a problem,
losing you would be the biggest trauma I would get.
May this day where our hearts bond together come soon.
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal.
A recollection of poetry
"Twilight funeral"
Blackened and cold is the dusk
A veil where the shadows watch
Behind the dim requiems of light
When blindness envelopes our eyes
Silent and unholy is the dusk
A hole where the demons smirk
Beyond the clutters of human life
When deafness embraces our ears
Sable nothingness is the dusk
A shroud where the ravens flock
Tainting the purity of white clouds
When darkness devours our hearts
Inevitable death is the dusk
A cloak where the daggers hide
Under the facade of tranquility
When mortality is but a quip
- Solasura
"Muted Joy"
Words appearing before aquamarine eyes,
Inner warmth awakened.
Coldened heart was melted,
returning to its liquidfied state.
Hopes of rain fallen,
sheltered by feelings.
Flooded everywhere,
but not a single drop here.
Tune rings by the ears,
Emotions being mixed up.
Weak and deplorable,
Just takes the shape of you.
Ensnared by you,
Unintentionally or intentionally,
unable to be freed,
till Reaper's Scythe appears.
Which will appear first, rain or scythe?
"Solitude"
Time flies when words strung out,
numbing the bitter nerve.
Defrostation took place,
Everything seem to be in summer,
From the frosted white fingers,
darkness in the heart,
you brought warmth and light.
Turning upon an unretaliatable liquid.
Just as words strung out once again,
froze all happiness in me.
Bitterness awakened,
Negligible autumn, forver winterness.
Eclipse seems to take place forever.
Light and warmth never took place,
Darkness and chill,
mutated the mind into an unfeeling solid.
When solitude occurs, does anyone bothers?
- Takizawa
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